69_emo_sucks_69 ([info]69_emo_sucks_69) wrote,
@ 2004-09-20 15:11:00
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and the meds are back in full swing
ain't life just fuckin grand. today i was in school and i started feeling the depression start to creep back upon me but i couldn't help it. im not sure what specifically it was today that bothered me so much. i think its just that im unhappy with my entire life. dads goin crazy, nick's bein nick, and my mom seems to be getting more malicious by the day. not only that but all my really close friends are really starting to get to me. when i say that i mainly just mean kevin guy and conway. its nothing bad about them specifically its just that i don't think we're at the same place in life. i can't relate to any of them. and im unhappy to be around them. well it looks like im screwed on that part of life tho because their the only ones to really hang out with. sure i can spend some time with melissa and my other friends but its like i can't get away from them. i guess another thing thats really been botherin me lately is that i feel so god damned lonely. every second it feels like the emptiness inside me gets bigger. it has nothin to do with losin kelsey, i just have been feeling utterly alone lately and i need someone. well i don't want to get too caught up in all this whiny crap so i think this is about it for today.



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[info]tynnie
2004-09-20 12:32 pm UTC (link)
ash will hang out with connor sometime?! haha, <3. i'm sorry though, and i'm here if you ever need to talk.

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Hey
[info]operation_ivy13
2004-09-20 01:56 pm UTC (link)
hey, well see i didn't even know this is going on... i just sit back and think sometimes and i realize that we don't ever talk... i mean we use to sometimes but very little... i look at othre people that are best friends and they talk constantly and then we don't. You never tell me any of your problems or anything... To be honest I kinda get the feeling i don't know you that well anymore... and you don't really get that much from me and i dunno if its mutual for the other two or everyone else for that matter but maybe you just don't know what level everyone else is on... and don't try and just mark me off as a complete moron for offering this idea and acting as if im inferior to your personal thoughts... im just saying that maybe if you tried to open up and talk about it you'd realize everyone else has different levels at different times... but hey im always here if you wanna talk about anything... i kinda noticed the problems setting in but didn't want to instigate an unwanted conversation. later

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[info]dead_milkmen_69
2004-09-20 05:50 pm UTC (link)
come up here and see me, u sound like u need a vacation. And what can help more then your faviriot diner! I miss u and love u.

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connor connor connor...
[info]ride_the_wave
2004-09-25 06:01 pm UTC (link)
it will all get better im sorry about the lonely empty feeling. you know you can always talk to me to get something off your chest. i hope you figure out the whole homecoming situation. you will. dont listen to stupid bitchy girls theyre just dumb. (i hope you dont see me as a stupid bitchy girl.. lol) yeah about the kevin and guy thing.. they can just be well.. kevin and guy. you know what i mean? well im sorry about everything hope it gets better.
<3 rachel

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